Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
