I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
