So drunk its hurt
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
