I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I am naked and annoyed.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
