it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
