1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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