You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
