butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i think my cat just said my name.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
