Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
