I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
