My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
