I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
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