oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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