I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Found your dick twin last night
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i think im in europe. pls send help
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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