did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
