i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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