matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
