I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Boobs are out for the taking
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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