Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
