Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
