Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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