@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
