I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
