You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
