We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
