Who wears a wallet chain?!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
