with your own penis?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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