Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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