She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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