dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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