I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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