There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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