you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Randomize
