i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
