you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
