Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
