im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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