Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
