i permit you to call me
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
