About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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