they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
