If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
