there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
