I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
please don't ironically join a cult
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