your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
