When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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