When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
