all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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