Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
