this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
