But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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