Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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