But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
