my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
